My Inner Child

Inner child work is powerful, mi gente.

Yesterday was project day. This "simple" dresser took me a while to finish (the instructions said 45 minutes but the Devil is a liar!!!!!)

But something wonderful happened. About 20 minutes into putting this together, I realized I wasn’t alone: my inner kid showed up - timidly - and started to help me put this together.

You see…my younger self always felt that he wasn’t “man enough” to do “manly” things.

To build things.

To fix things.

He was queer and a little effeminate, so people would always say mean things to him. And when he wanted to do things with his hands, he was often discouraged from doing so - often being told that he didn’t have the skill or strength to do so.

Building this dresser today - step by step, patiently, and making a few mistakes along the way - was not only productive for my adult self, it was a moment of pride for my inner kiddo. Yea…it wasn’t a big project…but for my inner kid, it was a big deal because although the idea of “man enough” or “manly things” is not part of my adult journey anymore, it was still part of my inner kid’s narrative.

Inner child work can be transformative and also exhausting. The Foundation for Post-Traumatic Healing and Complex Trauma Research posted an article explaining what inner child work is. Essentially it is "something you do with a qualified person to resolve the emotions and trauma held in by a hidden child."

My inner kid needed to understand that the things people said about him were not what defined him. Although it is a long journey to untangle and dismantle the trauma, I am glad that I was with him that day because it was a sure win.

So, to my inner kiddo, I say:

• Thanks for joining me today, little one.

• Thanks for being patient.

• Thanks for not giving up when you made that mistake.

• But most of all, thanks for trusting me to guide you through it. I know you had self-doubt and probably wanted to give up. I’m glad you didn’t! And look at what you did.

• In your femininity.

• In your queerness.

• In your authentic and beautiful self.

  
  

Way to go, kid. Way to go. ♥️

Read more about inner child work from the resources below:

• BetterUp's blog post on "How Inner Child Work Enables Healing and Playful Discovery." The post also includes information on how to get started with inner child work, including guided meditations and visualization techniques.

• Positive Psychology's article "Inner Child Healing: 35 Practical Tools for Growing Beyond Your Past" offers a comprehensive guide to inner child healing, including exercises, activities, and techniques for confronting our defenses, identifying childhood triggers, and having a conversation with our inner child.

• LonerWolf's article "Inner Child Work: 5 Ways to Heal Deep-Rooted Trauma" explores the spiritual connection between inner child work and the healing of deep-rooted trauma.

• MindBodyGreen's Complete Guide to inner child work.

• Understanding The Spiritual Connection with Your Inner Child by Winston Ben Clements.